Up in a wheelchair

Last night Cathy helped me a little, but I ate by myself. It was very hard not being able to see. I knocked my drink over twice. The first time, most of it spilled on my legs, but of course I couldn't feel it. I felt to helpless, even embarassed eating. I felt like I was groping for everything. It even felt difficult to find my mouth, not to mention keeping food on the fork or spoon. Not a positive experience, but one of many in the new life I now have to face. Breakfast this morning was a little better, but not much.

After breakfast, the physical thereapist came in and did range of motion exercises. She moved my legs and stretched them. Well she said she did, I felt nothing and saw nothing of course. After stretching, she got me into a wheelchair for the first time. I have no feeling in my bottom, and the large back brace covers my back, so I could not even feel the wheelchair.

Cathy wheeled hers close to me after she left and held my hand. She was very encouraging. Telling me that she would be right by my side as I learned to cope. I asked her to feel her face so I don't forget how beautiful she is, and I touched her face and traced the lines. We ended up kissing and I caressed her breasts while she kissed my neck. It was amazing.

Then lunch came. Time for another meal. It was a hamburger, so I hoped it would be easier to eat than a plate lunch. Cathy put the mustard on the burger for me, but made me pour my drink and do the rest alone. I fumbled around and found a can and a cup of ice. Then I opened the can, and placed my finger in the cup and started pouring slow (at least I think it was slow) until I felt the liquid on my finger. That was my indication the cup was getting full. Then I sat those aside, which is a task in itself. Seems everywhere I went to set something, it was on something else and wanting to tip over. Finally, I found some space for them. Then I go the burger. Finding it was the hard part. Once I did and kinda oriented it. Eating it was not so bad. Tho the first few times, it still felt like I was searching for my mouth.

After lunch and a short nap, I was put back in the wheelchair and taken to physical therapy. There, they had me work on using the chair, just rolling it, moving it around a little. Then she explained how I had to move from the chair to a table they had there. She called it transferring. She said as an L2/3 I would be completely independent as far as the mobility went using a chair. She said after I went to the blind school, I would be suprised how easily I'd be able to get around. I worked on sliding my numb bottom from the chair to the table and back while she held my shoulders to help me balance. She promised it would be easier when the brace comes off. Cathy agreed. Three transfers wiped me out, so I was taken back to my room where I slept the rest of the afternoon, but not until after Cathy made me practice my braille alphabet again. I feel somewhat confident about A-J now, which is also 1-9 and 0. How to rest.